How to cope with anger when replying to comments

cope with anger

Emotions play a larger part in commenting than you would think, so it's no wonder we need guidance on how to cope with anger when replying to comments.

I wonder how many of you have immediately responded to a comment which has upset you, only to regret it later? It is so easy with real-time commenting to produce an instant reply without a moment's thought.

And anger can be construed in so many ways, let alone provoked. But it is only natural to feel your ire rising when you read something you disagree with or is detrimental towards you.

Commenting in anger

Help is at hand

This post has been written to help you cope with anger when you come across it, and continue with your commenting activities in the best possible way.

The last thing you want is to aggravate the situation and make it worse with some badly placed language or ill thought-out reactions. Politeness tends to go to the four winds in moments of indignation, something which is usually regretted later.

The graphic above shows how important it is for you to calm down before responding. Let the anger subside from you first, so that you are in a much better frame of mind to cope with anger or similar scenarios. There is no need to instantaneously react to everything you read or see.

This infographic shows you how to cope with anger whenever you come across it:

How to cope with anger when replying to comments

And here's some code you could paste into your own posts (via the text mode) if you want to share this Infographic with your readers.

Cope with anger by taking time out

Whenever you read something which makes you angry, stop! OK, read all of the post, as certainly it is necessary to get all the information. Even if your anger prevents you from understanding it properly. But then after that you stop, leave it, and step away from your phone, computer or whatever device you saw the article.

This is important. You need to take time away from whatever has angered you. Removing yourself from the toxic environment allows you to cope with anger. You are not able to be stimulated, taunted or reminded of whatever it was that angered you. In other words, give yourself a complete break.

At the same time give your brain something else to do. Count to 10 slowly, or backwards from 100. This helps to reduce your breathing rate, which calms you down and helps you to think rationally. Then do something completely different: go for a run, take the dog for a walk, bake a cake, play with your kids, go shopping or visit a friend.

Find a trustworthy person to talk to

Talking is one of the best forms of therapy, especially when it comes to anger. Bottling up your anger and letting it seethe inside you will certainly do you no good whatsoever. You need to let it out in a controlled situation.

Telling someone about your anger not only acts like a pressure valve, it gets it all out into the open. Your grievance is aired, heard, understood and appreciated. Whether they agree or disagree is immaterial, as long as they are level-headed and responsible, they will be able to help.

Relaying your anger to a trusted third-party allows the scenario to be viewed from all points of view. They will be able to see each side of the story, reflect on the pros and cons, and present their opinions accordingly. This could even be useful towards finding a solution or a way forward.

Learn what triggers your emotions

If you have been angered by a troll or some other unfortunate being, your anger is most likely to have been triggered. These people are highly adept at knowing what to say to cause anger. In fact they thrive off it, as it gives them the kicks they crave.

That's why it's important to cope with anger like any other emotion. Advertising on the internet exists by manipulating emotions, whether to encourage you to buy or to sign up for something. It is the clever use of words which tricks you into being angry, scared of missing out, feeling inadequate or a desire to look like the latest celebrity.

You could have therapy to work out what your triggers are, or you could analyse them yourself. Learn to avoid situations where you may come across them. Don't read posts which make you angry. Evade certain subjects or people which could upset you in the future.

Get it all off your chest first

But right now you are angry, so another form of release is to write down what you feel. This should not be in the offending post's comment box! Write it down on a separate piece of paper, in your journal, or anywhere else other than the blog or social update which triggered you.

Writing when you are angry can be cathartic. It doesn't matter what you say, as nobody but you will be reading it later. Use whatever language you like, forget about spelling or grammar, just get your thoughts down and out of your head.

Learning to cope with anger means not bottling it up. Get it out in whatever format is best for you. When you have finished, the relief should be enough to make you feel instantly better, but without putting yourself in a situation you would regret later.

Revisit, revise and rehearse

Now you go away and leave what you have written. There is no reason for an instant reply, unless the delay would cause more upset or your business to collapse. And even in these situations it isn't always necessary, even if you think it is so.

Taking time out allows your brain to subconsciously work things out in the interim. If you can manage 24 hours, all the better. Then when you do return to it, you will be in a better frame of mind. Your response will be considered, appropriate, relevant and certainly less offensive.

A thoroughly good edit is in order here. Then read out your response out loud. This is so you will know what the other person will hear (even in their heads). If it doesn't flow properly, difficult to understand or you don't get your point across adequately, edit it all again.

Take on the right attitude to continue

Forming the right kind of words, which again would prevent triggering more anger, is important in a good, healthy, necessary reply. Aim to gain the upper hand without undermining anyone, get your point across in a coherent manner and allow others to appreciate your point of view.

Getting other readers on your side, and certainly encouraging them to join in the discussion, will help towards showing the troll or undesirable person his views are not acceptable. If you are able to gather evidence, proof or important facts to back up your argument, all the better.

Your approach should be positive, forthcoming and valuable. Be assertive enough to not aggravate the situation. If you are sure of your facts, keep a level head and maintain your politeness, there is every reason you will be able to answer satisfactorily.

How do you cope with anger when it comes upon you?

Let us know in the comments below what you do to curb your temper. Which techniques do you use to help you cope with anger when reading offensive posts or articles? Are you easily upset, or do you not let this sort of thing get in your way?

Also, have you seen any examples of when anger has made things worse, or an exceptionally good reply which successfully and tactfully tempered a difficult situation? Maybe you have come across a funny incident, which could have been worse if anger wasn't involved.

We look forward to reading your thoughts or views on this subject in the comments below.

Alice Elliott
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And let me know your thoughts about this post below...
  • I think it’s important to be able to deal with anger in a healthy way. I think it’s important to be able to express anger in a constructive way. It’s also important to be able to let go of anger and move on.

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